Lately, our family of four has been continuing to evolve our normal. Our kids are growing and changing daily, simultaneously exhausting and frustrating while filling our hearts and giving us such delight that I sometimes think I will burst. As I wrestle one child or another to bed (usually H), I often wish that he would just go to sleep! But as soon as his precious blue eyes close and his little body is limp in my arms, I wonder how I could ever be frustrated with this darling boy.
These children and my husband are such treasures. In a world that is as scary as ours, I constantly hear or meet people whose spouse or children are either taken from them or are profoundly hurting, and it terrifies me. I have never known such intense anxiety as I have known since becoming a parent. That saying about having children is like having your heart walk around outside of your body is absolutely true. It is a constant struggle to remember that my family really belongs to the Lord, and all that I can do is love them well and leave the rest up to Him. Much, much easier said than done.
The kids love each other so much, most of the time. They each light up when they see the other, and now that H is full on crawling and can cruise around furniture, he is forever trying to play with anything J has, and vice versa. It’s so precious to watch them together and I really hope they will be friends growing up, but I know that conflict will be aplenty, especially once H is able to retaliate when his sister does something not his liking.
Life is not always rosy in our house; I am often frustrated, overwhelmed, stressed, and tired. When the house is a mess and the kids are screaming and I just want some alone time, I am still so thankful for this beautiful life (and for a husband who will give me a reprieve and let me catch my breath before I go nuts!!).