As Jane’s birthday approaches, my heart and mind are full, and I am both filled with joy and sadness. This year has been simultaneously long and but a breath, yet I can scarcely remember my life before Jane entered it. Recently, I was talking with a friend about how sad I was that Jane’s birthday is almost here and she replied, “Erin, you don’t have to give her back!” And this is so true, but I do feel like I’m giving up a baby and exchanging her for a toddler.
To give myself some perspective, I looked up the infant mortality rates both in the United States (6.1 out of 1000, ranks us #169) and globally (35 out of 1000). My heart breaks when I think about these numbers, especially since I have recently had to watch as a family struggled with the decision of removing their newborn from life support, and I have had to watch families grieve the loss of their infant. It sucks. But it made me feel so incredibly thankful for the health and safety of my baby.
I am so indescribably blessed by this precious child that God has entrusted to my care. May I be ever growing and depending on my Lord for wisdom that I may point her to Him.