Tough Day

Yesterday was tough.  Actually, it’s been a tough few days.  When I got home from work on Tuesday night Jane was running a fever.  At first I thought she had picked something up on Easter, either from the church nursery or from one of her cousins, but the next morning I saw her sixth tooth finally poking through her gums!  Well, I cancelled all of our plans, just in case, but she seemed totally find by about mid morning.

Then yesterday happened.  Jane has been in a biting phase which I just attributed to teething, but I expected it to stop when that last tooth came through.  It didn’t.  Yesterday she proceeded to bite me every time I tried to nurse her, which led to yelling on my part and crying on hers, which led to her refusing to nurse all day.  By the end of the day I had had it.  I was frustrated with everything and everyone and heartbroken that Jane was refusing to nurse.  And she was refusing to nap.  I was so afraid that this was going to be the end of our nursing relationship and that I would either have to pump exclusively or wean her.

To top it all off, I had to go into work at 5:30 for what amounted to a fifteen minute check off.  So not worth my time.  But when I got home Andrew was getting Jane ready for bed and I decided to try to nurse one more time.  Success!  All of the stress from the day just melted away as I was finally able to feed her.

If there is one thing that I have learned since Jane was born it is this: parenting is hard.  It is so much harder than I ever would have believed.  I used to think that I was a strong person, but I am learning that I am truly fragile and in such desperate need of grace.  Grace from my husband, my friends, my daughter, and the Lord, most especially.  Thank God for grace.


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