In the few short months that I have been a mother, I have learned (and am continuing to learn) some things. I have learned both how strong (hello, natural childbirth!) and how weak (hello, sleep deprivation) I am. I have learned that if I am not constantly humbling myself, I will be humbled. I have learned that contrary to what I previously thought, I am a pretty hormonal person.
I am learning to shut out what the world says about how I should mother, and instead, am trying to listen to my heart with the filter of Scripture. I am learning just how quickly time moves and how precious it is. I have learned that I will never again have this day with my daughter, and that I want to cherish it. I have learned that there is no better feeling than holding your sleeping child. I am learning how intensely I can love. I am learning how intensely I am loved.
I have learned that I am not a perfect mom and that I will fail Jane. I will fail often. But when I fail, I need to then show her an example of humility and grace.
I am learning that while I want to treasure every little moment, I just don’t have enough space in my head to remember every little detail. And that breaks my heart. As thankful as I am to spend most of my time with her and I really do treasure it, I feel guilty that I might not treasure it enough.
There are so many more things that God is teaching me through this journey of motherhood, but these are just the things that were on my mind today. I am so thankful for my daughter and for the way that she challenges me to be a better woman.