Honestly

Honestly, I had no clue how difficult this would be. Why didn’t anyone tell me? Although even if they had, I probably would have been arrogant enough not to believe them.

Honestly, most days I feel like a failure.

Honestly, having the job that I do doesn’t make this any easier; it makes this harder because I wonder why I can’t figure out my own baby.

Honestly, I feel like I will never sleep again.

Honestly, I now hate driving because I can’t do anything for her when she cries.

Honestly, I frequently wish that someone else could breastfeed for me.

Honestly, I miss dairy products so much.

Honestly, I am terrified of screwing up.

Honestly, I have never been so tired or emotional. I feel like I could come unglued.

Honestly, I wonder what’s wrong with me or if there’s something wrong with her when she won’t nap.

Honestly, I don’t know if I can do this.

Honestly, I think people should talk about how difficult the newborn period is so that new moms know that they’re not alone. Or crazy.

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2 thoughts on “Honestly

  1. Oh Erin! Sending you a big hug!! Newborn stage is sooo hard. I know I’ve tried to be up front with people about that, but you really don’t have ears for it before you’re a mom. It is one of those things that no amount of talk can prepare you for. With the exception of Jayne, I was a wreck during my kids’ first couple months. Finally by #3 I calmed down. There is nothing wrong with you. Your body and mind are flooded with postpartum and lactation hormones, you’re sleep deprived, and you are Jane’s sole source of life. That last thing in and of itself can be completely overwhelming.

    You were made for this. Jane’s cries don’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. She’s trying to figure out life outside the womb. Be encouraged that God didn’t leave us out when giving maternal instincts. We are His image bearers, after all! You will learn more as you go. Don’t worry about what anyone thinks. Don’t make decisions out of fear of bad habits. Enjoy what’s enjoyable, which is definitely not “every minute” like the little old ladies say.

    You’re doing great. Even if it doesn’t feel like it, you are! Blessings to you and Jane. Let me know if I can help you with anything!

  2. I wish I could encourage you, but I’ve only been a puppy mommy. I know from my other friends who are mommies to babies that it’s hard in the beginning. I’m praying for you and baby Jane and Andrew!

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