I am currently reading Ina May Gaskin’s Guide to Childbirth, and though I had to stop reading some of the birth stories that she presents in the first part of the book (they freaked me out too much), I love this quote that I just came across.
Remember this, for it is as true as true gets: Your body is not a lemon. You are not a machine. The Creator is not a careless mechanic. Human female bodies have the same potential to give birth well as aardvarks, lions, rhinoceri, elephants, moose, and water buffalo. Even if it has not been your habit throughout your life so far, I recommend that you learn to think positively about your body.
I work in a place that is absolutely necessary and I feel really good about the care that I provide. But a NICU is different than any other place and we often have a skewed view of birth and the things that are appropriate during labor and delivery, simply because we only see the bad and scary things. My co-workers and I very rarely (if ever) see everything go normally and it taints our opinions.
I still try to avoid talking in detail about my birth plans when I am at work because there is so little support for natural childbirth, even when it is being attempted in the hospital environment. On a side note, go figure that things rarely go as planned for women who want to have a natural birthing experience in the hospital, what’s a girl to do when no one supports her? Anyway, people are still curious and ask various things about my plans (choice of OB, epidural, etc.), and most of them genuinely care about me and my well being, but some are just obnoxious and nosy. One such woman who cares, but is also ridiculously nosy was asking me questions last week that I didn’t feel like answering, but tried to be as gracious as possible in the moment (which was just short of being rude), when she asked if I would be disappointed if I couldn’t do what I had planned. My honest answer was, yes, of course I would be disappointed; this doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t still rejoice over the birth of my daughter, but we all like it when things go according to plan. She then started to say something about needing to plan to fail (i.e. I would end up needing a C-section) but stopped herself, for which I am very thankful, because I don’t think my response would have been kind at all if she had finished.
I don’t want to make it sound like I have no support, because I do. My husband, family, and a few close friends are supportive. Although, if I’m honest, I think they’re all more scared than me at this point, but I am choosing not to worry. I know all (well, a lot) of the horrible things that can happen both to mother and baby during labor and delivery, but I choose to trust my midwife and her experience; she is competent and humble and comes highly recommended. I choose to trust my body, though this will be easier said than done when the time comes. I choose to trust the knowledge that I have sought and acquired that tells me that the choices that I am making are actually the safest ones. I choose to trust that the training that Andrew and I are undergoing through Bradley classes will prepare us well. Mostly, I choose to trust God. The God who wove and knit me together is also weaving and knitting together my precious baby girl. While I protect her as best I can, He is ultimately the One who will protect and provide for her. She is His, and He loves her so much for perfectly than I could ever hope to.
The view from above at 27 weeks.