Dear “Cold” that is currently infecting my body,
You have been given notice. Your work is not satisfactory and you are expected to vacate the premises immediately.
I will do everything in my power to get rid of you: I went to acupuncture yesterday, and am loading up on immune-boosting herbs and vitamins C and D. Plus, I had a green smoothie for breakfast.
It’s time for you to get out of Dodge.
Your time is up.