The third book in my challenge to myself is finished. I just read The Shack and as when I read it before, it was very good. One of the things that struck me most as I read through this time was that it didn’t affect me as deeply (or at least as emotionally) as before. Perhaps this is because there is nothing like a fresh perspective and hearing something the second time isn’t always as mind-blowing… but I think that mostly it has to do with an unteachable spirit.
Over the past several weeks as a result of some surface level introspection, I have discovered something that I am disgusted with…. I have a woefully unteachable spirit. Call it pride, call it arrogance; it’s both. I have spent the last several years really unwilling to learn though trying my best to keep the appearance of one who is learning and growing. When did this begin? Why did this happen? What has caused me to become so callous toward my Savior and His love for me?
Like Mack, I cling to the illusion of control. As far as I can see, I have no deep hurt like Mack. But perhaps I try to protect myself from giving anyone the chance to hurt me? Even though I have seen much and witnessed God’s hand of mercy and love in countless ways, I think that I am still afraid to trust Him. I have so far to go, so much to learn when it comes to Him and being in relationship with Him.
I have a sweet friend who completely astounds me with her love for the Lord. She truly desires to know Him, to spend time with Him. This is something that I don’t often desire out of unadulterated selfishness and laziness. Oh, to follow her example.