I wasn’t brave enough to post this on Facebook…
Dear Old Man at Publix,
I wish that I could take a picture of you in your daisy dukes to show you just how you look in them. I am very sorry to have to inform you of this, but your daisy-duke-wearing days are over. To be completely honest with you, there are very very very few people who can wear those shorts with confidence. However, if you feel that you absolutely must continue to wear them, please, only wear them in the safety of your home in order to prevent frightening small children.