Today I was sitting at work while “rocking” (quotes because a preemie should not be rocked) a baby and was just looking at him when my eyes began to well up with tears. This is a baby who, against all odds, will be going home in a relatively short amount of time and I don’t know why I became so emotional… but I did. I don’t know if it had something to do with Summer and the fact that I thought that I had closed up my heart and built an impenetrable barrier that no baby or family would be able to get through again… and this baby got through. I don’t know if it has something to do with the fact that I was so close to burnout just a few weeks ago, and it is moments like this one that bring me back to this job every shift. I don’t know if it had anything to do with how I’ve been feeling lately about having my own children one day. I don’t know if I was just in complete awe of this child that God knit together in his mother’s womb and the power of the Lord to heal him.
Maybe it was all of the above. All I do know is that it was one very sweet moment.